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It’s only my heart

My brain and my heart are colliding! It is a very intense artistic struggle that has left me in tears, made people concerned for my welfare and worn my body out. Anne Bogart says that drama is birthed when two opposites collide. This instils me with faith. Faith, that after the self inflicted pain subsides, I will gain the objectivity to construct a beautiful piece of art.

My brain has so many artistic questions about the world I have created; they are questions that I don’t have the answers to. The only way to find the answers is to let go of my thinking and allow my heart to take over. Put myself through the paces of the character within his world. However, staying committed to this environment is at times excruciating. My mind yells at me “It’s all pretend, snap out of it, you are safe!” But my performance instincts suppress those thoughts and shift them to only respond to what happens to me in the moment. Therein lies the constant battle of a creator and performer.

With about a week till we have to present 15minutes of work to a panel of peers, I suppose its only natural that things have gotten a bit more intense. Every fibre of my being knows that, while this is certainly a rough patch, brilliance will manifest itself.

One Response

  1. J. Higgins says:

    Sounds like the battle between rationality/perfection vs. imagination and expression…in writing.

    I’m sure your 15 mins performance will be fine!